so explain again why im purple
no
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
