Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I smell stomach acid.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
