It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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