Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
