im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize