It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize