saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
only if we run a train.
done.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He has the fingertips of a God
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
