Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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