New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
im six kinds of drunk right now
Barsexuality is the new black.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
