I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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