I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
