There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
