She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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