White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
