you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
