If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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