is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
