All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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