Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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