Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
