I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
