after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
