Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
