drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
