how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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