so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
