okay pat passed out under dana's car
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
