Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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