love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
