I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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