No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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