your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just come out here and I will go home with you...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
