Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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