Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
