I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize