whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
