T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
