my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
