once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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