You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
