I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
