I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize