i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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