Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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