Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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