Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
