What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
