she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
