I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
