I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
