DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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