Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
