I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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