i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
