Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
