I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
