so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
