So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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