the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
