now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
