plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
