i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
