billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
