I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Semen is not good for contacts.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
