thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
