sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
