I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
