I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
